“Is this our truth?
Is this how it ends?
All the little things
We shouldn’t hold in”
Today I am very happy to share a new song: Atomic [Listen Here]!
Listen: Stream “Atomic”
Watch: Video
Support: Bandcamp
In my life I have had the fortune of experiencing many deep relationships - some beautiful, some volatile, some indulgent, some sweet, some terrible too. I feel like at this point in my life I have a fairly experienced view of what is healthy and what is toxic. And I’m grateful for every relationship that’s grown me and - my music.
When I look back at some of the more intoxicating relationships in my life, I remember how tiny I felt at times and how I pushed myself into explosive reactions just to feel some sense of control. I remember rattling invisible cages and trying anything that made me feel powerful again.
Many of you have walked the road with me for some time, so you’ve born witness to me at my best and worst (Thank you!!)
Intoxication has its draw, but it always comes with a crash. It never sustains. So when something feels addictive or intoxicating these days, I just say “no thanks,” no matter how hard it calls to me. Life is short and there are far better things to do than ride into a storm. Life is just better when I look for balance, sweetness, and a bit of calm.
Thankfully, I have grown a bit wiser and learned how vital it is to surround myself with people and environments that nurture and empower me. Learning what I need in life and finding ways to surround my self with those things, mean that I fortunately don’t get waterlogged as often these days.
”Anything for the flood
Anything for the war
Anything for our love
There still might be water in the desert”
My perspective on the world right now feels closely tied to these personal experiences. We are clearly in a volatile moment. Everything feels like it is firing in all directions toward a point of eruption. We have been here before in human history, but never quite like this.
Sometimes the way I feel about society reminds me of how I felt as this younger version of myself - helpless and small - wanting to feel safe in a world that seems so explosive. That sense of feeling consumed, trapped, or powerless in something enormous and heartbreaking. I see what this world could be if we made different choices.
I wake up each day grateful for my life. I enjoy my loved ones and the beautiful world around me. I try to focus on the things that bring meaning into my days and on expressing myself fully. Hopefully I am showing my child how to be a conscientious citizen of the world, and every day I get to practice being my best self. But I would be lying if I said it did not hit me with bittersweetness. It would feel like pretending that we, as a collective body, are in a healthy relationship. We are, and we are not. We are - and we aren’t. There are ways that we are choosing helpful and there are ways we are choosing harmful.
My deepest hope is that we rise out of this moment without everything becoming Atomic.
You can listen to the song here:
Listen: Stream “Atomic”
Support Me Directly: Bandcamp
Watch: Atomic on YouTube
I wrote this song with my beloved friend Tom Leonard from Zero 7. I produced it from Los Angeles to Woodstock to Berlin through wildfires, stomach viruses, and autistic burnout, along with the rest of the songs from my upcoming album Legacy, which arrives at the end of January. The video was directed by the one and only Interior State and Patrick McPheron. Fun fact: we almost burnt down my house in Los Angeles while shooting it. A truly terrible parenting moment.
Enjoy this one and feel free to share it with someone you love.